My Valentine's Day parked in my own driveway in yesterday's knickers

My Valentine's Day parked in my own driveway in yesterday's knickers
How was your Valentine’s Day? I bet you went to that nice Italian place you saw in Time Out or somewhere equally overrated, which is essentially Pizza Express for people who can’t face reality.

He probably paid and then you went home to your lovely house and had some nice sex and almost certainly a little spoon afterwards, all content in your smug, coupley existence.
Well, I had no such luck.
I spent Valentine’s Day parked in my own driveway in yesterday’s knickers.
So whatever stories you might have heard of Valentine’s Day ‘disasters’ pas, I believe this will trump them ) all (And this will end up being an entirely relevant turn of phrase, if you care to read on.)
Yes, this really was the worst.
Even worse than the Valentine’s Day 2009 when I received a spice rack and a size six thong.
The thong was IN the spice rack.

A thong... in a spice rack... JUST WHY MEEEE?! Copyright: [Giphy]

Obviously, I am the type of chick who is into seasoning while cutting off the circulation to her own genitals.
We broke up.
I digress.
Back to the story in question. A last minute night out the evening before the big day had left me standing at midnight looking for anyone to talk to after my wingwoman for the evening had selfishly pulled and gone sexy AWOL.
This was an experience that made me think that perhaps those people who seem to have turned up to clubs on their own probably just have devilishly attractive friends who pull before they even have time to order a drink.
Not that they ever have to pay for their own drinks anyway, the attractive bastards.

Why do some people even bother getting cash out? INSUFFERABLE ATTRACTIVE TYPES. Copyright: [Giphy]Wholesale Summer Dresses cheap summer dresses online